Under the Canopy

This award was passed on to me and others who stayed up and helped my friend Cathy with Blogathon 2007. I am proud in supporting a friend for a noble endeavour. She blogged for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

Well, this isn’t a tag meme but I would like to honour those people who help ease other people’s lives one way or another.

Labels: Charity Blogger Award, friends, raising awareness

Posted by ipanema at 7:35 AM | Permalink

clipped from news.yahoo.com

Married men do less housework than live-in boyfriends, finds an international survey.

But married women do more housework than their live-in counterparts.

The scientists analyzed surveys gathered in 2002 from 28 nations, from 17,636 respondents (8,119 males and 9,517 females) as part of the Family and Changing Gender Roles III Survey. All respondents were either married or cohabiting with a significant other.

Overall, they found men spent about 9 hours a week on housework compared with women, who spent more than 20 hours weekly.

It is not stated what makes them so busy at home than the married man. While I haven’t had the chance to observe or know cohabiting people, I can only speak of my experience.

Although stated as a gender issue, my experience was different. My husband [+] was they type who busied himself while at home. You can’t see him idle. If not busy with paper work and the children, he can be seen tinkering anything at home – old mechanical children’s toys, bicycles and the car of course. He could spend half a day cleaning the car and make it shine to his liking. He was not the type who would squirm at making himself dirty with grease.

Though not a competent cook, he was the best in preparing breakfast. Perhaps his forte. I always enjoyed it when he was home. He would insist on preparing breakfast so much so that my children missed him more.

As for me, I always rely on the house help for housework. It’s not because I don’t know or don’t want to, but it is because I feel tired after office hours. I spend it with my children doing homework. Since my children were taught to prepare things at night, I see to it that I prepare my husband’s clothes. This is perhaps one thing I miss doing.

However, raising my first less than a year old baby in a foreign land, I stopped working for three years and became a full time housewife. I would say that was the best years of bonding with my child. I took care of him and was running a household sans maid.

Going back to the article, cohabiting women on the other hand spend less time doing housework.

Meanwhile, couples who see each other as equal, find themselves halving household chores proportionately. This reminds me of another survey I blogged before wherein division of housework topped important factors of a successful marriage, whereas children was relegated way below expected ranking.

As shown by the study, there is a difference how married or cohabiting couple regard housework. I can only share my experience. I can say that he did more in one aspect, but I was running the household and did my bit.

Is the result of the study true in your case or to those whom you know?

Labels: commentary, men, news, women

Posted by ipanema at 11:45 AM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from www.theonion.com

Study: 38 Percent Of People Not Actually Entitled To Their Opinion

CHICAGO—In a surprising refutation of the conventional wisdom on opinion entitlement, a study conducted by the University of Chicago's School for Behavioral Science concluded that more than one-third of the U.S. population is neither entitled nor qualified to have opinions.

"On topics from evolution to the environment to gay marriage to immigration reform, we found that many of the opinions expressed were so off-base and ill-informed that they actually hurt society by being voiced," said chief researcher Professor Mark Fultz,

I find it a bit hilarious! Ok. That’s the U.S. Imagine the rest of the world. Not only that, have they checked the blogosphere? Oh, they should. Here alone, I have bloopers.

“Opinions expressed were so off-base and ill-informed that they actually hurt society being voiced.”

I always encourage people to speak their mind. I don’t take it against them if they stray off a bit and get back to the main topic. Sometimes to prove our statements, we give examples to expound on a topic.

Well, in my blog, everyone who has an opinion worth sharing is welcome!

What do you think of the survey? Do you think that you are entitled to your opinion?

Thanks pyrogyne for sharing the clip!

Labels: clipmarks, commentary, news, opinions

Posted by ipanema at 10:43 PM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from news.yahoo.com

As a rapidly urbanizing India sees its social landscape shift away from traditional family bonds, the country's once-revered elders are becoming increasingly marginalized. The swelling ranks of middle-class children are moving out of their parents' homes to live independently or go overseas for better employment opportunities, leaving the elderly at home.

"You become a burden on your kids when you grow old," Godbole says.

To offer legal recourse to people like Godbole, the Indian government introduced a bill this year that would make it a legal obligation for children, heirs, or relatives to provide financial assistance to senior citizens. Such a law would take India's traditionally strong sense of filial obligation into the stricter territory of legal statute.

Loneliness a problem for India's seniors Surveys among India's elderly have found that due to abandonment or gross neglect by children, India's elderly suffer from loneliness and isolation.

It’s a sad plight of the elderly in our society to come into terms with this harsh reality. Oftentimes children are abandoning their parents for career advancement and a good material life. This case is not only evident in India but in other countries as well. One difference though is how other countries manage the elderly.

This bill has been criticised as one-sided, favouring the elderly. There are shortcomings and these are some of them:

• Age – To qualify, the senior citizen must be over 60 years old. A problem, as most women are widowed before 60. Who will take care of them? What if they don’t hold jobs?

• No children – I think it’s obvious that those who are single by choice or circumstance have no one to fend for them. Will the government shoulder the monthly $250 or other relatives will be called into the picture?

• No property – What if there is a child but nothing to inherit? One of the provisions states that : “Any relative of a senior citizen who is in possession of property or who stands to inherit the property of the concerned senior citizen would be liable to provide maintenance”.

If it becomes a law, will parents sue their children? I better not think too far ahead. According to those interviewed in the article, they don’t need to use the law to penalise their own children. Now, that sounds more like loving parents talking. How do we take care of our elderly?

Let me share from my side of the globe. Filipinos have close knit family ties like the Indians in the article. For some, the extended family is more than the immediate family. There are cousins many times removed and other relatives. Some foreigners couldn’t understand this set-up. Well, it is more cultural in a way. However, modern times see a change in the head-of-the-family responsibility. Nowadays, the child who is better off takes care of the financial aspect, whilst the not-so-busy ones take care of the elderly family member. There are many factors and issues to consider. What is more taxing is the care of sick, elderly loved ones.

I am not familiar with Home for the Aged in the Philippines - if there is one - as I grew up in the rural south where we take care of them. Where we do it depends on the set-up as some elderly people are too independent. They have their own house and a little property, though not all are lucky. The widowed usually live with one of the children.

When I was young, I shudder at the thought of people leaving their old family members in the hands of other people. I just can’t get that in my system. I pity them. However, as I age, I can see the practicality of it all. It is better than leaving them to wander off the streets. God forbid, but there are plenty unfortunate ones.

We always believe that how we treat our parents will also reflect how our children will treat us in the old age. For some this is true, for others, well, a different story.

For me, I call it karma. That is if you believe in it.

Labels: clipmarks, commentary, family, India, news, relationships

Posted by ipanema at 8:12 PM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from news.yahoo.com

SAN FRANCISCO - Yahoo Inc. (Nasdaq:YHOO - news) will introduce new features Monday for its popular Web-based e-mail program, including software that allows computer users to type text messages on a keyboard and send them directly to someone's cell phone.

The changes come amid fierce competition among providers of free, Web-based e-mail services. Yahoo and Microsoft Corp.'s Hotmail have long dominated the niche, but Google Inc.'s Gmail has grown quickly since its introduction in April 2004.

Users who don't want the upgrades — or whose computers are too slow to handle them — can opt to remain with the current version, which Yahoo will call "Classic."

This is good news indeed. As a user, I know that sometimes important messages get unopened as people are too tired to log-in and check e-mails. So, if they are on the road, we send text messages. Hopefully, no more “I haven’t read your email yet” alibis. Parents are the first to benefit from this service. If they are at work, all they do is type a message on their computer to their children. Convenient, isn’t it?

The service is only available in the U.S., Canada, India and of course, the text capital of the world [according to some] - The Philippines. I am not a text person. I prefer to talk since I want to obtain first hand information, A.S.A.P. I am going to pale in comparison with my siblings in typing messages. When I receive them, I can barely figure out consonant-worded messages! It is like unlocking codes.

If my non-techie understanding is correct, only these four countries can exchange text messages. Or these four countries can send out text messages anywhere but we can’t reply on our phone. These, I need to find out more.

This service will be available Monday, that is anytime tonight, my time. Let’s check this out and try. Sadly, it is not available in my location. Bummer.

Read the article...

Labels: clipmarks, commentary, news, technology, Yahoo

Posted by ipanema at 7:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

Work is love made visible.

And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy. ~ Khalil Gibran

That’s a good reminder for me not complain about my exhaustion over work. Perhaps it is just a natural reaction from my weary body.

This will be a short post as I have nothing interesting and important to share except these photos and the story behind it.

I took these photos yesterday while fetching my youngest who attended the Inter-School Sports Fest at the stadium. And to say that it was chaotic is an understatement.

The heavy downpour wasn’t a help at all. It paved way to frantic students scampering for shelter. We had to run from the stadium to the parking lot. I have to take him home early as I have to go back to the office.

Well, my week wasn’t that fun. I was supposed to meet my friend in church this morning but wasn’t able to do so. I simply forgot about it. I hope she forgave me.

A blessed Sunday everyone!

Labels: children, musing, personal, photos, Sunday Thoughts

Posted by ipanema at 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments

This week's theme is HAPPY. Some of you know what makes me happy. Here are some from that list. Sorry for the late post, very busy at work. The holy month of Ramadan will start next month and schedule is hectic now. We will be slowing down next month in conjunction with the religious holidays.

Labels: friends, fun, photo, Saturday Photo Hunt

Posted by ipanema at 10:31 PM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

Old age is apparently not preventing US citizens from enjoying active sex lives, researchers there say.

In a survey of 3,005 people aged 57 to 85, a significant number said they were sexually active into their 70s and 80s.

Health problems or lack of a partner, rather than lack of desire, were listed as the most common barriers to sex.

Sex with a partner in the last year was reported by:

• 73% of those aged 57 to 64
• 53% of those aged 64 to 75
• 26% of those aged 75 to 85

Of those who said they were sexually active, most said they were having sex at least two or three times a month.

Half of the people surveyed up to age 75 said they had oral sex.

About half of the men and a quarter of the women said they masturbated, regardless of whether they had a sexual partner.

About half of the respondents said they had a "bothersome" sexual problem.

Among men, the most common problem was erectile difficulties. Fourteen percent of men said they used medicine or supplements to boost their sex lives.

The study gives emphasis on the importance of health to their sex lives. The healthy ones obviously enjoy more than those with illnesses. For men its erectile problem whereas for women they are: lack of desire, difficulty with lubrication and inability to climax.

I purposely clipped those rather sensitive results of the study to show or prove that old people aren’t done yet in this area. Ha!

I remembered the Italian who told my mother that he wanted to live longer that’s why he wants to have someone with him. This was after my mom turned him down, afraid what we might say or think about her having a man in her life. It was only after we discussed that it should be alright if it makes her happy. I told her we get to choose the man. Of course my mother was horrified at our far-fetched ideas. It was only that persistent Italian businessman, no one else she said. He eventually ended with a lady from my mom’s circle of friends. The amorous Italian. Ha!

It is an interesting result. It says that health problems or lack of a partner, rather than lack of desire, were listed as the most common barriers to sex. I couldn’t agree more.

Finally, I’d like to say that the one-legged man in my last post is testament to this. Ha!

Labels: commentary clipmarks, news, sexual health

Posted by ipanema at 6:38 AM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from news.yahoo.com

A one-legged Emirati father of 78 is lining up his next two wives in a bid to reach his target of 100 children by 2015, Emirates Today reported on Monday

Daad Mohammed Murad Abdul Rahman, 60, has already had 15 brides although he has to divorce them as he goes along to remain within the legal limit of four wives at a time

In 2015 I will be 68 years old and will have 100 children," the local tabloid quoted Abdul Rahman as saying

After that I will stop marrying. I have to have at least three more marriages to hit the century

Abdul Rahman said his large family lived in 15 houses. He supports them with his military pension and the help of the government of Ajman, one of seven emirates that comprise the UAE, which includes the Gulf trade and tourism hub of Dubai

Raging hormones. Does it look like a conquest? I find it so. In fairness to the man, I haven’t read the whole article, I am not so sure if his reason to have this target is for the love of them.

Can he still find time to be with them all the time? I mean can he make his rounds in 15 houses everyday? Well, it is his problem, I’m just curious.

Coming from a big family, I know what chaos is. But it is a loving one. 78 is just too much for me, how much more for a 100? Doesn’t he feel sore? Ha!

I have two children, enough contributors to some grey hair popping here and there. I would love to have a baby girl. It would be nice. My maid used to tease me of having another one. It’s horror hearing that. Another one in my early 40s? I cringe at the thought of having a baby at that age, though of course it is still possible. If there is an assurance that I’ll have a girl, who knows? But I’m really too old for that.

Which do you prefer, fewer or more children?

[Sorry for not updating yesterday. I was typing last night and around half past 10 pm, I had to rush my maid to the hospital for gastric complaints. It was severe. We went home early this morning.]

Thanks behavioristgirl for sharing the clip!

Labels: children, clipmarks, commentary, news

Posted by ipanema at 5:11 AM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from blogs.techrepublic.com.com

#1: How much vacation time do you provide?

#2: Can I bring my dog to the office?

#3: Will I get an office?

#4: Can I work from home?

#5: Will I have to carry a pager?

#6: Does this company monitor Internet usage?

#7: What’s the stress level here?

#8: I noticed that your stock is down 10 percent this year. Do you expect people to be laid off?

#9: What’s your management style?

#10: Do you have a tuition reimbursement program?

A break from my serious posts. This brought a smile to my otherwise drowsy self. Perhaps if I ask all 10, the interviewer would simply wave me out of the building.

I would like to ask #6-8. Firstly, I would like to take a peek at my e-mail and blog once in a while, so I need an internet connection. Blog addicts can't resist the temptation to visit virtual home. Second, if the stress level commensurates salary, perhaps I won’t mind. That is if stress is bearable. The next one I need to know so I would not waste time talking to the interviewer. Ha!

Which one would you ask and why?

Thanks mrmadmax for sharing the clip!

Labels: clipmarks, lighter note

Posted by ipanema at 9:49 PM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/20/world/middleeast/20migrate.html?_r=1&oref=slogin&pagewanted=print

Rising Breed of Migrant Worker: Skilled, Salaried and Welcome

SHARJAH, United Arab Emirates — In this country where foreigners do most of the work, there are migrant maids and migrant masons, migrant tea boys and migrant typists, all doing what most migrant laborers do, menial tasks for meager wages.

Then there is Peter Mitias, the migrant professor.

Some countries want migrants to stay. Canada long ago pioneered a point system that promises a work visa and a path to citizenship to any worker with the right qualifications. Now the list of places with similar programs includes Australia, New Zealand, Britain, Hong Kong and the Czech Republic. But much of the recent growth has been in temporary plans. The United States, Britain, Ireland and France are among those with time-limited visas for the skilled. Sweden and Denmark have courted foreigners with tax breaks. Several countries, most notably Australia, try to capture migrants early, by encouraging foreign students to remain.

Migrant workers are seen in both lights. They are generalised in the first paragraph. However, there could be some surprises if their resume and other personal data were looked into.

How sure are they that those maids, masons, tea boys, typists are really what they are back home. We have teachers, accountants, engineers and other professionals who are not so lucky to land good jobs abroad. Others find themselves in a quandary as companies close shop or employers couldn't pay them on time. There are many reasons why they job-hop. Simply, they are displaced.

I am not saying that those who land meagre salaried jobs are all professionals. Some work just require minimal educational qualification to land in such. But as in the case of labour migration, often people close their eyes to the kind of work for as long as it pays them more than they earn at home.

A doctor-blogger once commented in one of my previous topics on migration that he knows someone with a PhD working as a maid in Hong Kong. Their stories abound. Perhaps you and I know someone in this predicament.

I am more familiar with Canada, Australia and New Zealand’s point system. The younger you apply the better. Points gained would depend on education, work experience and age to name a few.

Last year, France approved its new immigration bill drafted by then Interior Minister, now President, Nicholas Sarkozy. It stated that only the qualified get “skills and talents" residency permit. Foreigners are only allowed in to work, not live off benefits, among other rules mentioned.

Here are some statistics:

• Migrant population [2005 – in millions] : Europe [64.1], Asia [53.3], North America [44.5], Africa [17.1], Latin America [6.7] and Oceania [5.0]
  
  

• Countries hosting the largest number of international migrants [2005 – in millions] United States [38.4], Russian Federation [12.1], Germany [10.1], Ukraine [6.8], France [6.5], Saudi Arabia [6.4], Canada [6.1], India [5.7], United Kingdom [5.7], Spain [4.8] and Australia [4.1].
  
  

• Top 3 Migrant Sending Countries [2005 – Estimated Diaspora in millions] China [35.0], India [20.0] and The Philippines [7.0]
  
  

I’m going to end this post by asking what will happen [besides the obvious] to a country as more highly skilled professionals migrate. Next, a rather sensitive one. What or how do you feel towards labour migrants? If you are one, what or how does it feel being a labour migrant? Do you feel welcome in your country of work? Let’s keep discussion honest.

Thanks sylviadafox for sharing the clip!

Labels: clipmarks, commentary, global migration, news

Posted by ipanema at 9:50 PM | Permalink | Comments

It may be narrow, albeit refreshing. Winding, straight and endless, that’s how I look at my roadmap. There are times my thoughts – rather melancholy - run wild, creating havoc of future, unforeseen plans.

Of late, family obligations and career moves kept intruding my day thoughts. Not in my office. I never allow personal thoughts to bother me at work unless of significance. If it does, it is a sign to look into it as soon as possible – plan or deal with it.

Perhaps I am just afraid of change. Inevitable, it eats me up just thinking. Perhaps this is the reason of my exhaustion complaints. I have a few more months left to decide.

My oldest son will be turning 18 this year. As per immigration rules, he will not be considered a dependant anymore. I had blogged and we had talks about his studies. His firm decision says it all.

So, I paid the Immigration a visit last Monday and presented his case. For him to continue a legal stay in the country, he has to apply for a student visa. Hearing that cleared all cobwebs in the air. A happy day it was.

As for me, enthusiasm is wearing me out. It seems like I need a change. I am not sure if this is temporary or not. Definitely, I love it here. However, there are times I feel adventurous in a dreamy way. Dangerous. I wanted to soar but afraid to take off. I am a coward I thought. Those who know me think that I am daring but I am practical as well. Everything has to be considered. It’s not a pack and go life. If I am alone, perhaps I can easily do that. With children, I’m afraid not. I can’t just fumble for coins, toss it in the air, and decide heads or tails where I would go. Sometimes I think I should do that. I want to see how far I would go. But that would be selfish of me.

On the other hand, I would love to take on the challenges offered by some well-meaning friends and former colleagues who had since explored, after leaving the corporate world and the academe which I both inhabit at different points in my life. I had an invitation to lecture in Malaysia, a job relocation in another continent and some business ventures by former colleagues. You know my family’s stance on this.

There are times I want to go on my own. This is one thing I am confident about. I grew up in a family business anyway. Oftentimes, I just want to lay down and let life pass me by. Ideal, yet is it realistic?

The road ahead is surely a jam…for now. Something I need to untangle myself.

A blessed Sunday everyone!

Labels: children, friends, life, musing, Sunday Thoughts

Posted by ipanema at 12:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

This week's theme is TWO. Here are photos I was able to take from things in my house and that of a tree I took yesterday.

Another one of my batik framed decors. These TWO are inseparable - a Mother and Child depiction.

I bought this papyrus from an Egyptian booth during one international fair. This TWO-winged lady must mean something in hieroglyphics. I wasn't able to research more on her. I kept the original serated edges before framing it.

This tree has been given an unusual TWO designs. This is just one of many in town.

Labels: friends photos, personal, Saturday Photo Hunt

Posted by ipanema at 4:52 AM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from http://www.therawfeed.com/2007/08/internet-cafe-refugee-epidemic-hits.html

The Japanese government is investigating a growing trend. Day laborers are actually LIVING IN CYBER CAFES. Tokyo's luxury cyber cafes have showers, serve meals and are open 24 hours a day. It costs $25 for five hours, with a meal included and all the Internet access you can handle.

It certainly has a much urban look for a cyber cafe. More of a hi-tech motel. The question is, why live in the cyber café? Are they after the 24-hour internet connection? For $25 for 5 hours, it is still expensive. Well, it depends on which country you are seeing it from. So, that’s $100+ for 24 hours. That is too much for an internet connection if that’s what they are after. For a much lesser amount that’s my broadband bill.

Looking at amenities, it isn’t bad after all, isn’t it? Even if they go online for most of their waking hours – that is if they still sleep – they can still present themselves with a clean look – that is if their eyes can hide those strain. This part of our body says it all. The deep, dark lines and eye bags betray us. Not to mention being sloppy at work, if things get worse. I hope we don’t come to this. But I know that some have become online addicts.

I still give them a benefit of the doubt. That is if they want a cheaper place to live. I am not so familiar with Japan’s hotel/motel rates. By the way, shower is not free. You can have one at 200 yen for 30 minutes. Underwear is also available. Disposable? Perhaps. These cyber cafes were originally designed for people who miss their train. But alarms are raised with the growing trend of day labourers who prefer to stay in this place than in an apartment or homes.

Likewise, personally, I see this as a sign of addiction. In such cyber cafes, imagine what they are doing online. I am not going to lecture on each individual’s online activities. But judging from their preference of such privacy, your guess is as good as mine.

I go to cyber cafes when I am in a mall to while away time. Or when my connection is left to be desired.

Would you live in this cyber café if it is available locally? Why do you think this people live here? How much of an online addict are you?

These are my answers to the above questions.

No to #1 because I have a family to take care of. I think I must draw a line up to where my addiction ends. I think my thoughts from the first to the paragraph before these last two gives you a glimpse of #2.

How much of an online addict am I? Well, my computer is on 24 hours. That is because electricity is cheap, I have a broadband connection and I wait for messages from my family. At the most, I read feeds and emails which would take me hours. Next, blog hopping. Then, answering comments and posting some. After that, I go to my communities – Clipmarks, Twitter and those on my sidebar. Lastly, I listen to online songs. If my connection isn’t bad, I can switch on MyPlaylist at Last.fm for one whole day.

I hope I won’t come to a point of living in a cyber café if it is only internet connection I want. For me, if the Japanese people can still function very well in their First Life, I don't see much of a problem in that. However, as most addicts have experienced; family, personal relationships are very much affected. We hear stories of broken marriages and families. I hope they are not married men and women.

Thanks lilyrose770 for sharing the clip!

Labels: clipmarks, commentary, internet

Posted by ipanema at 9:45 AM | Permalink | Comments

Undoubtedly it is awards week. JMB, handed-out this Inspirational Blogger Award. I am humbled by her description about me. Thank you, JMB.

A year of blogging brought me to several blogs from here and across the pond. My recipients are remarkable, one way or another. I drew inspiration from these Golden Girls.

Cathy – My first blog friend who rescued me from an acid-tongue medical blogger, who obviously left his manners under the toilet seat. She is selfless, thinking of others in spite of her medical condition, she blogged 24 hours non-stop to help the unfortunate. I am proud to be onboard her support team for this worthwhile endeavour. I think we click because she also says what is in her mind.

Moof - My second blog friend. She is a moof and a grandmoof who is soft on the outside but strong on the inside. She helps anyone who calls on her. I call her the ‘Lady against all odds’.

JMB – She was the first to notice that we keep on bumping each other in other blogs, and so starts my association with this smart character from Vancouver. Her blog reads like a travel, history and book review mix. It gives me an insight on how she enjoys retirement. I wish I could do the same.

Gattina – A fellow Photo Hunter whose photographs are several times better than mine. She is an artist. She authors several blogs and like the rest of the Golden Girls, she enjoys life. She is in constant move. Travelling perhaps is second to her art.

Patricia - Another inspiration I met on Photo Hunter. Her writing style I admire. I'm fairly new to her blog but I can feel peace and calm when visiting. Perhaps it's the topics she is writing on and how she writes it. She is a good photographer herself.

There you go. The Golden Girls in my realm of the blogosphere. I like to age gracefully like they do. Indeed an inspiration.

Labels: blogging, friends, Inspirational Blogger Award

Posted by ipanema at 9:02 PM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-virtually-instant-ways-to-improve-your-life.html

Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren’t caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.

Stop jumping to conclusions

Don’t dramatize

Don’t invent rules

Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations

Quit being a perfectionist

Don’t over-generalize

Don’t take things so personally

Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy

Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic

Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on

I couldn’t agree more. I seem to be heading for a 10/10 negativity on this one. Guilty, as I do or have done these. But hey, I am just human. For this post, I'll focus on the last one.

Let go and move on. Easier said than done. Sometimes this is hardest part when all welled up emotions are stronger to fight. When one has been abandoned, cheated, unloved, among other things, it is easy to empathise without even thinking what we are into.

One would ask if this person is really on the disadvantage? Or was it because of one’s pride, stubbornness or unforgiving self that the person is suffering? Why is it hard to forgive and forget? For some, forgiving is easier whilst forgetting not.

Younger and downright proud, I used to say that both aren’t easy to do. Older and wiser, I would subscribe to that notion that forgiving indeed is easier. Trials and tribulations in life, taught me to open our heart in order to let go. Forget and forgive. Give the person, therefore, yourself as well, another chance. For only then we can move on.

In your own opinion, which of these is easier to do: forgiving, forgetting or both?

Thanks teraisa for sharing the clip!

Labels: clipmarks, commentary, life

Posted by ipanema at 6:30 AM | Permalink | Comments

I have to post this award I received from dear friend Cathy. Here’s a definition of what a thoughtful blogger is.

For those who answer blog comments, emails, and make their visitors feel at home on their blogs. For the people who take others feelings into consideration before speaking out and who are kind and courteous. Also for all of those bloggers who spend so much of their time helping others bloggers design, improve, and fix their sites. This award is for those generous bloggers who think of others.

• Snglguy
• BW
• Major Tom
• Ladybug
• Toe
• Gypsy
• Vernaloo
• Rolly
• Bugsybee
• Bingskee
• Instik
• Niceheart
• rdl
• smalltownRN

Labels: awards, blogging, friends

Posted by ipanema at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

Imagine at a ripe age of 107, half of which you’ve seen and lived a good life only to be retarded by politics. Your money, jewellery and inheritance sit idly in a Boston bank. It can only be withdrawn if you live outside Cuba. Meanwhile, your quality of life is deteriorating. You were reduced from socialite to social parasite. You rely on charity, yet wealthy in your own right.

Meet Canadian Mary McCarthy, married to a Cuban millionaire. Hoping that tides may change, they opted to remain when Cuba was under US sanctions in 1959.

With the help of Canadian diplomats, the U.S. now allows her to withdraw $96 every month. Is this enough?

How long will she will be under this condition? Is her age not a factor to draw exemptions?

The way I see it, politics is a lame excuse when we apply it with her case.

Should the U.S. release her money and let her live decently in the remaining years of her life? Well, I certainly hope so. Let’s keep watch.

More on the article...

Labels: commentary, lifestyle, news, rant

Posted by ipanema at 10:39 PM | Permalink | Comments

You are cordially invited to attend the Silver Anniversary Celebration

of High School Batch ___

on _____2008

at _____ Hotel

So read the crisp, formal printed invitation. With it came some forms and a reminder on how to pay for the event and a brochure detailing the programme of activities.

Almost three decades after high school and I couldn’t even recognise one of them. Interesting but I was quite amazed at the transformation. I was thinking so hard to connect a face and a name. Perhaps I need a magnifying glass.

I received a FedEx pack from a high school classmate reminding me that we are celebrating our silver anniversary next year. Is it that long? After reading the invitation and other documents, I suddenly felt my age. She produced a name list with corresponding photos of the whole fourth year high. I should have brought my high school annual magazine with me.

Some look like me in size, boys or should I say men, a bit hefty. I admire others who kept trim. Wow, it seems effortless for them.

High School I believe is most memorable compared to university and a much tamer, formal, graduate school.

My friends mostly came from the same or neighbouring areas. It is easy to gather and plan for some adventure or attend birthday parties. I had Bible study friends too, some of whom are from other schools. Yes, I did read and can quote verses from the Holy Scripture but I don’t do it here. I do it in private. And to the horror of some friends, there was a point in my life that I was contemplating to enter the nunnery.

I think my English teacher – the same one for four years- is one of the best I ever had. I love her Literature class. She is perhaps my inspiration. I am not an English major but it gave me a lucrative moonlighting job.

Well, I am eagerly anticipating for the day to arrive. I can’t wait to catch up with everyone. Where are they anyway? Some left for personal reasons; others part of the growing global labour migrants like me.

Excited? Yes. The first and last time I attended a reunion happened when I was in second year university. Ah, those were the days.

A blessed Sunday everyone!

Labels: friends, musing, personal, school, Sunday Thoughts

Posted by ipanema at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

This week's theme is row. Another word with other meanings depending on the usage. My photos as usual show the obvious except for the first which shows two meanings. I uploaded a large size for this week to appreciate the interpretation even better.

This is a batik I bought in Bali and had it framed. It shows a row of women and judging from their expressions it look like they are having a row.

I found this in one events shop after having vegetarian lunch next door the other day. These are rows of colourful fabrics they decorated on the ceiling.

I took this photo two weeks ago in one of the oldest part of the city. Here, we can still find shops with rows of French windows. I'm not so sure who brought this design here. One can also find this in our neighbouring countries, Malaysia and Singapore.

Finally, I had a mad rush yesterday to go north of the country by bus. Yes, I did that. I used to do this before with another friend to while away time. Just ride on the bus and return on the next trip. It was fun. I saw this government housing available to locals. The type of house given [read: loan] to a person would depend on his-her position-rank in the government service. This is a very common one.

That's all for this theme. Happy weekend everyone!

*Today is a holiday, so I can bloghop and purposely didn't publish post early. :)

Labels: friends, fun, photos, Saturday Photo Hunt

Posted by ipanema at 6:40 AM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

They eat food they find in bins and are driven by conscience, not financial need. Meet the freegans.

There's no such thing as a free lunch, so the saying goes, but freegans beg to differ.

They only eat food they can scavenge for free from supermarket dustbins. Most is only just past its sell-by date, some is still within it but the packaging has been damaged.

The freegan philosophy of "ethical eating" is a reaction against a wasteful society and a way of highlighting how supermarkets dump tonnes of food every year that is still edible.

Boycott

They argue capitalism and mass production exploit workers, animals and the environment. For the most extreme proponents, freeganism - the name combines free and vegan - is a total boycott of the economic system.

Freegans Paul and Bob operate in a suburb of Manchester and have a network of bins that provided rich pickings.

However, I can’t seem to reconcile their actions and belief that capitalism is evil. I thought that freeganism is a total boycott of the economic system.

Why then are they scavenging the very same food that in one way or another spells economic system written all over it. These goods from the supermarket bins where they scavenge, had been produced, manufactured, traded or marketed. Why not return to hunting or agriculture instead where source of food hasn't undergone any economic process or activity. Provided one doesn't use a gun to shoot game or other animals. Likewise, one doesn't cook them using gas or electricity if one really wants to boycott any form of economic system.

Just a thought.

Labels: clipmarks, commentary, freeganism, lifestyle, news

Posted by ipanema at 11:16 PM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

The Asian Development Bank (ADB) found that relative inequality had widened more substantially in China than any other Asian country except for Nepal.

Other countries with rising wealth gaps include India, Cambodia and Sri Lanka.

More spending was needed on education, training and healthcare to alleviate the situation, the ADB argued.

The bank said the main reason for widening wealth gaps in recent years was the discrepancy in investment between urban and rural areas which favoured better-educated, better-off urban populations.

Governments must ensure their health and education programmes were "targeted" and implemented in a way which did not destabilize the overall economy, the bank added.

The presence of multinational companies along China’s coast and major cities brought migrants to these areas dreaming a piece of modern, progressive China. Sadly, meagre-salaried labour workers toiling in sweatshops find life in bustling cities hectic and expensive.

Moreover, most migrants find themselves second class citizens as locals are top priorities in terms of housing and healthcare, among others.

It is ironic that China is spreading its influence farther afield through investment and writing off debts of some African countries whereas rural investment back home does not look promising at all.

It seems like China is mapping emerging markets in what could be the New Silk Road, with other parts of the country in the dark. How about infusing local investment by wealthy Chinese in rural areas to create employment and avoid overcrowding urban areas. Obviously this is a problem as businesses prefer good location to be near their market and staff better educated work force. Most of those have uprooted themselves to big cities in search of a better life.

Furthermore, government policies should be devised to attract foreign investors in setting up business in the country - easier to talk though hard to materialise. We have seen how multinationals bend to Beijing's policies. It is either that one acknowledges it, or no business at all. Then we all go back to the question on how to generate employment in rural areas as this could be the answer in closing disparity on income and wealth amongst its people.

More on the article...

Labels: Asian Development Bank, clipmarks. news, commentary, economy

Posted by ipanema at 11:02 PM | Permalink | Comments

I am quite intrigued with the findings of this Aberdeen study which involved 42 couples. Besides marrying within their social class, it was found that people with thesame amount of fat are likely to be attracted to each other. Scientists involved in the study measured the body composition of the 42 couples and found that the body fat in one person was proportionately similar to that of their partner.

Well, we take a good look at a person when we meet them and do a mental analysis if there are possibilities of being attracted. Yes, we do 'size-up' each other.

Some of us would find another person too thin or too fat. However, if we are able to meet someone to our liking, that person becomes a possible candidate.

As to social activities, do you believe that people who like to eat are happier with their mates? Most of us usually end up with someone who likes what we like, eat what we eat and be merry about anything.

This finding is quite new to me. However, it does make sense. It is possible that we like someone who are of our size. However, I have seen couples who look like number 10, if you get what I mean.

Oh well, there are other factors in choosing our future partner. Size does matter but it isn't everything. Is this true in your experience?

Read more on the article ...

Labels: commentary, lifestyle, news

Posted by ipanema at 8:56 PM | Permalink | Comments

clipped from www.dailymail.co.uk

Researchers at Imperial College said the range of physical effects caused by the ups and downs of romance can cause serious long-term damage to the human body.

"Our pupils dilate, our palms become sweaty and the heart rate increases. We have large amounts of adrenaline running through our system and that does cause problems for the body."

"We know, for instance, that newly widowed men have a 50 per cent higher chance of serious heart problems following their spouse's death."

Could this really be true? I searched for similar topics and it isn’t giving me any results except for books and shampoo products. Or I am looking at a different direction? This study perhaps is a first. I’m not so sure about it though.

It focused on the range of emotions we are going through in this stage and the harm it causes in the long run.

I think it starts with the mental anguish of seeing or not seeing the object of your affection. Not knowing what the other is doing every waking moment. One feels fidgety indeed. Some couldn’t even eat properly.

However, as the study has mentioned, we have to acknowledge the effect of emotions to our health. It is akin to stress-related illnesses.

As we all experience this emotion, the last clip however hasn’t been felt by a majority unless one experience it.

My recent loss indeed brought me to this state. In the first five months, I felt like a zombie. I was hearing but wasn’t really listening. All I did was say yes to everything. At work, I am the same. Sleepless nights or drenched pillows whenever I manage to sleep are normal. Make-up helped my appearance. I see clients; I need to dress-up. But the exuberance wears off. I am just too transparent or my loss is eating me up that it shows.

According to the study, stress affects sexes differently. Widowed men have a 50% chance of heart problems.

On the other hand, I am curious with the reverse. Is falling out of love likewise a health risk? We cry buckets, loads of it. We experience the same emotional rollercoaster. Well, I think it’s all the same when it comes to matters of the heart. They’re all health risks!

Labels: commentary, health, news

Posted by ipanema at 6:09 AM | Permalink | Comments

I don't usually blog about this. I twitter my thoughts on this. But I need some answers.

They call it authority, I call it links. Well, they know better. It's their game. But it's my blog. Lately however, I've discovered something fishy. – for me that is. If not for a friend's nudge, I wouldn't know about it. She asked what's happening to my ‘authority’. Why is it going down? Funny how one’s authority will go down. Well, this is the virtual world. It's either a glitch or someone is messing it up.

Anyway, my question is how does one lose 58 ‘authority/ies’ or is it links last week and then lose another 12 as of early morning today. You see as of July I still have my original count of 204 [great for someone who doesn't beg, ha!] then last week it went down to 146 and then today at 134. That is by bulk, it is so systematically horrifying if you ask me because blog reactions are up from 385 last week to 400+ today. I am not sure if one can see my point showing that. I , myself am stupefied.

Anyone can answer me that? I sent them an email today asking where all the deductions [minuses] came from. In fairness, they have a week to answer me that. Seems like I can't wait. And please before one tells me I'm gaming the system, what is it anyway? Is it wrong to join groups which some say are part of those gaming the system? Is it wrong to link people if they earn it?

I am just curious as to what is happening. Can someone tell me? You can email me your answer if you don't want to be seen here. Then I'll post it here without your name and email address. Fair enough?

I need answers. I can always opt out of Technorati anytime, but I have given links to many people. It wouldn't be fair if I'd do it.

Any thoughts?

Labels: rant, Technorati

Posted by ipanema at 9:12 AM | Permalink | Comments

A carer absorbs all the tension, feels the patient’s hardships and takes care of his own. Perhaps juggling between his business, the hospital and home is taking its toll. I pity my brother-in-law. He needs more support. His mother is now with them, looking after the children. It’s not enough that we get moral and emotional support from household staff. We need something from our own family.

That concern sparked debate across the miles since Friday. I had been a recipient of messages and calls. Since it’s the older siblings exchanging mighty ideas, I just read and listened, until they asked my opinion. Being the family’s title holder of the most number of hospitalisation [4 including childbirth], I gave them a piece of my mind.

First, to respect my brother-in-law’s wishes. Second, it would be of help if they listen to each other and compromise. It’s easier to talk when we are not the ones lying in a hospital bed or taking care of the person. I think I just shut them up. I had a good night sleep; devoid of continuous shrill of my phones. Until dawn.

I woke up to the innocent voice of my niece on the other end. She was chatty. I asked why she was up so early. She mentioned that they’re going to hear first mass and visit her mom. Her next words rendered me teary eyed. She told me that she would like to see her mom happy today and asked ideas. I told her to sing Bette Midler’s “The Rose”. It’s one of our favourites. She knows the song alright.

This young girl has her own sacrifices as well. With her father's permission, she temporarily stopped her ballet and piano lessons to spend time with her mom. Tearfully she told me what’s the use of learning dance and music when her inspiration is suffering? Oh, I feel for her!

It was my turn for a request. I told her to hug her mom for me and to tell her I love her and she’s always in my prayers.

I hope this family crisis will make her strong and see life as it is. And just like a rose, its thorns are part of its beauty.

A blessed Sunday everyone!

Labels: children, family, love, personal, Sunday Thoughts

Posted by ipanema at 11:04 AM | Permalink | Comments

Labels: friends, personal, photos, Saturday Photo Hunt

Posted by ipanema at 4:31 AM | Permalink | Comments

Wrong shoes? I'm not sure. Perhaps. But I can't wear too flat flats. It would be painful for my spine and my legs. Any advice?

Today, I went out with friends for lunch and it was an opportunity for me to photo hunt. Yes, I did just that. Check out my entry tomorrow. Ha! Anyway, as I've mentioned before, I always buy something for the children every time I'm out. Here are some of my routine purchases.

These assorted bread wouldn't last a day in my home. Remember I have two teenage boys. Just imagine their appetite. But they always leave something for me and my maid. Their favourites are those strawberry and chocolate buns. I forgot the names actually. I call it so because of their colour. Another is the sponge cake [mamon]. I'm not sure also if that's the English word. Another is that chocolate cake bread. There are only a few slices in that pack. I like their small packages. Which one is mine? The German white bread. Again it comes in four thick slices. It's something closer to my childhood white bread. Yes, very nostalgic indeed. Ha!


To update myself with the latest movies, I passed by my favourite video shop. I took all of these without testing as I was in a hurry. I watched 'Ever After' long time ago. But I'm not sure if I have a DVD of it. The rest were recommendations by a sales clerk. Anyway, I was given two days to return any of these if I find it not to my liking - quality wise, that is.

That's my Friday so far. I'm going to have a rest now, my weary legs are complaining.

Enjoy the rest the day!

Labels: friends, personal, rant, screaming photo

Posted by ipanema at 4:20 PM | Permalink | Comments

I thought food craving is only for pregnant women or those who are on a diet and are tempted to taste other varieties they’ve probably missed.

When I was young, I craved for green mangoes. It stopped when I started working. This is a photo of a green mango tree I spotted on my way home from town.

Nowadays, when work pressure starts to build or my monthly ‘visitor’ is almost due, I hunger for chocolates.

Lately, this soupy, coconut flavoured dessert drove me nuts. It’s called bubur cacar. Its ingredients include coconut milk, sago, sugar and sweet potato. I discovered this in a dimsum shop we frequent. Every time I go to that mall, I’ll never go home without it.

Labels: cravings, food, musing, personal

Posted by ipanema at 10:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

Labels: commentary, news, research

Posted by ipanema at 11:13 PM | Permalink | Comments